Compassion & community

at the intersection of

polyamory + parenting

A free, twice monthly discussion and support group for polyamorous parents to build community, ask questions, and get support on the journey. 

Navigating polyamory while parenting brings unique challenges that monogamous parents and child-free polyamorous folks don’t experience.

We deserve community and support that sees, understands, and validates all of our experience!

FAQ:

• Open to anyone involved in a significant way in a child's life, whether or not they are a "parent".

• Open to polyfolk considering kids and parents considering polyamory.

• You're welcome to show up late, leave early, and parent/make dinner/whatever during the call. we get it, we're juggling a lot too!

• You don't have to have the spoons to support others right now- that's the point of community, among us all, there will be enough for everyone.

• You can have kids of any ages. We think building community before you actually have kids is important, and we think staying in community and sharing your wisdom when you're no longer day-to-day parenting is valuable too.

• We're all about intersectionality. Both the intersection of polyamory + parenting, but also all the other marginalized identities that polyfolk often have- race, gender, sexual orientation, neurodiversity, etc. Your identities will never be pathologized here.

• I have a background as a breastfeeding peer counselor and conscious parenting coach and believe that just as consent is paramount in our adult relationships, it is with children as well. However, I'm not here to prescribe- I believe that with good support people find their way to what is best for them and their families.

• We've seen a wide variety of family structures and we're not promoting any one way of structuring how adults support children's care and growth. If all the adults and children involved are thriving, then it's a good structure.

Group Norms:

• Lead with Compassion, Curiosity, and Respect: We hold space for each other without judgement, offering unsolicited advice, interrupting, or trying to fix each other. At all times we respect and honor group members’ identities. If something someone shares touches something tender for you, please ask for additional support from a group leader.

• Boundaries and Consent: Boundaries and consent are foundational to this group as in all relationships. Do not DM anyone other than a group leader without public permission. Only an explicit ‘yes’ is a yes. You do not have to answer any question or share any information that you are uncomfortable with.

• Take care of yourself and your needs: Feel free to turn off video, move around, attend to children, etc to care for yourself. However, as much as you are able, being present and on video helps to foster the connection and community feeling of the group.

• Confidentiality: Anything shared in the group stays in the group. Ask permission before sharing anything shared with anyone else. If you see group members in public, please consider how you interact with them, as not all members may be “out” in all situations.

• Accountability: We all make mistakes and blunders, however, it is expected that all members will repair any harm caused (even unintentionally) and use the opportunity of accountability to grow. Any intentional harm IE bullying, will not be tolerated. We reserve the right to remove anyone if necessary.

• Purpose of the Group: This is a space for community building for polyamorous parents. It is not a space to promote yourself or look for dates.

• Conscious Parenting: We believe that consent is foundational to parent-child relationships just as it is in adult relationships. As such, responses to parenting questions should include sovereignty and respect for the child. We do not condone coercive, manipulative, or violent parenting techniques.

• Polyamory: This group is open to adults practicing all forms of consensual non-monogamy, however our primary focus is on the deeper connections of polyamory. Answers to relationship questions should always include consideration of and compassion for the needs of all parties. We do not condone non-consensual non-monogamy (cheating).

Hi, I’m Jen.

I support polyamorous parents because I see the ways that we feel the need to hide parts of ourselves in order to navigate spaces that pathologize us. I’ve lived the isolation of feeling like there isn’t anyone in my life who fully understands my experience. I’ve experienced the devastation of thinking I had finally found a space to be whole- only to discover some part of who I, or my children, are- wouldn’t be welcome there.

We deserve better.

We deserve to live lives deeply rooted in and aligned with the fullness of who we are, our values, and our passions. We deserve parenting and partner relationships that feel fulfilling and authentic, where our needs are met, our boundaries are respected, and we feel deeply connected.

We deserve parenting support that sees our children as dignified, values consent, and believes that all members of our families can thrive together. We deserve trauma informed relationship support that holds compassion for every person and supports unique solutions for our unique needs.

We deserve to feel whole, not only as polyamorous parents, but with all of the other marginalized identities that polyfolk often hold, including neurotype, sexual orientation, gender, race, etc. Your identities will never be pathologized here.